The Funk and How to Beat it

Ze funk, I has it. I broke things off with aforementioned nice guy. Not a thing wrong with him, just couldn't deny that he was not the one for me so I had to let him go. I've stayed up until at least 3am the past two nights because I'm having trouble sleeping. I barely got out of my chair all day yesterday. I feel sad, unmotivated, inept, helpless. I'm about to spend $40 trading my corn snake for two ball pythons, which is a financially smart move because as a rule balls sell for $50+ easily a piece, but I'm still spending money without a job. I'm barely eating and when I do it's stupid food choices like chips, boxed macaroni and cheese, or breadsticks.

Considering that I'm eating junk food, drinking lots of soda, haven't taken my happy pills consistently in a long time, haven't had a good sleep schedule, stopped working out... well, those are all choices I have made that are not helping me out. I could blame it on the fact that my parents aren't living together, that I can't find a job, that I haven't been able to move out like I want, that the holidays are stressful... but life isn't about making our circumstances conform to our whim. It's about taking what we're dealt and making good choices that make us healthy and happy, build up relationships, bring us closer to God, and set ourselves up for success. I've not been doing a good job of that right now. Some choices I made are really good. But I need to do better.

Lets end the year 2010 with a week of taking really awesome care of ourselves. We all have reasons that we don't take care of ourselves... for just one week let's risk it, yeah? If all our excuses were valid, well then this week will prove it. But maybe, just maybe, our excuses are just excuses and our lives would be 300% better if we just took better care of ourselves. Ya think?

So instead of a New Year's Resolution, I'm making an End of Year Resolution. A year is too long to plan... but five days I can handle! So here's the plan.

- Work out three times
- Get some outdoor time every day
- Buy a ledger or something that helps me budget and write everything down
- Keep applying for jobs until I find a good one
- Take my happy pills every day
- Go see the therapist on Wednesday and do everything she recommends
- Stay connected with friends, and not just my online ones [though I love you all very much]
- Eat healthy food three times a day
- Drink lots of water, maximum of one soda a day!


Alright. I'm off to go do positive things in my life. Toodles!

SCREEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEECH

Pretty sure the world stopped turning. I'm subbing for my mom at her office job and nothing has happened for two hours. Haven't heard my boss so much as roll his swivel chair across the floor. No telephone calls. No one coming in. It is so. Quiet. I do believe the world has ceased to spin.

On the positive side, I lost two pounds! I'm also so sore in my legs I walk with a limp. Haha.

I'm off to Wal-Mar or Big 5 to get a heart rate monitor and resistance bands that go over a door, so I can be super awesome and to celebrate my loss. Which sounds funny but whatever.


This is a shout out to my 20sb's that have been keeping me company... y'all are awesome. I are heart you.

Ever-Elusive: Fitness

I'm fed up with the weight I've gained since I was at my slimmest, 18 months ago. Since then I've gained 35 lbs. Yes, in a year and a half! A combination of bad food, low exercise levels, high stress levels, poor sleeping habits, and side effects of anti-depressants all worked together to put me at my current heaviest weight. I still think I'm attractive and beautiful. But I would much rather be considerably healthier, and three sizes smaller.

With the help of my new fitness plan, I want to be at my target weight and size by graduation. I have 20 solid weeks to get there. I've never really stuck to a fitness program before; I've done a couple of diets [not very many] and I try to get out for walks or bike rides or do a little yoga. But I really want to know what I could achieve if I really really tried. You know? And then, once I'm at my target, I can choose whether or not it's worth it to keep it up. But I need to know what I could be, and do.


20 Weeks!